Knowing (a guest movie review from Slik Dawg, because I would never watch this garbage!)

KNOWING

Director – Alex Proyas
Starring Nicolas Cage and Rose Byrne

MPAA - Rated PG-13 for “13” or so “Pretty Good” special effects scenes and “Pretty Good” movie cameras used to film the movie. (okay really rated PG-13 for disaster sequences, disturbing images and brief strong language.)

SPOILER ALERT!!

Well… after watching this movie I’m so glad I came out “knowing” that everything, (creation, the world, life, universe, all that jazz) wasn’t actually The Big Man Upstairs (if you get my drift) Yup, it was actually aliens. Weird looking aliens, who stalk people, look like pale freaky vampires, wear ominous black trench-coats, whisper creepy things to kids, slick back their super bleached blond hair like roaring twenty Mobster Lords, do weird blinding flash light attacks by opening their mouths REALLY wide, don’t actually explain anything to anyone or move the plot forward other than be all around creepy, and who finally at the end of the movie turn into angelic creatures of light with shimmering glowing alien bodies and wings and actually good intentions, WHO WOULD’VE KNOWN!? They looked so eerie, and were always in the shadows, and gave the poor boy a nightmare that even I would freak out if I had it. Were they supposed to be the good guys? I COULDN’T TELL!!

If weird alien things looking like that came and told me I had to leave my Dad I would tell them exactly where they could stick that invitation. And If I were the girl, I would DEFINETELY NOT go with them… They kidnapped me from my mom and made her chase after me frantically and end up getting run over by a truck.



What was up with those rocks too? I mean, like, yes, we get it, the little black rocks are connected with the whispering scary angel/demon/alien dudes. What is it, like their calling card? It’s like they can’t actually talk (except like weird nonsense whispering to the kids which I don’t even understand HOW the kids understand what they are saying…) so they have to leave this black rocks all over the place. Was the black rock in the truck with the dying Mom (Rose Byrne) like them saying “Sorry we had to kidnap your daughter and make you chase after her and get in a car wreck and die without any explanation from us… sorry about that… here’s a little black rock to make up for it… really, you’ll like it, it’s black, like us, all black and ominous…really, we’re really sorry we can’t talk about it… Bye!”

I mean I have to give this movie props for the filming. It was SO AWESOME! Like the colors were so saturated and such a sharp image! I love that type of filming, I wish every director used the cameras they used to film Knowing, then ALL movies would be awesome! Plus the special effects were AMAZING!

But seriously, everything else was SO bad that amazing special effects and filming can’t make up for it.



The plot was just so terrible, and NOT connected. Awesome, so he gets the numbers, they are related to all these accidents, guess what IT STILL DIDN’T CHANGE ANYTHING!! Yeah Nicolas Cage got to go around trying to figure out these accidents and disasters and its all mysterious and stuff but there was NO POINT! If the whispering people were just going to come and talk to the kids anyways Nicolas Cage didn’t NEED to do anything except say goodbye to his son. And the weird/scary/freaky kid from 1959 didn’t need to see the dates and numbers in the first place cause it do anything for her either, her daughter dies in a car accident and her daughter’s daughter gets taken away anyways… so, WTF? Why the plot? Why the story?



Sorry for ranting, just... I thought it was a pretty retarded movie.

Here’s what I would have done if I directed the movie. First off, when dealing with angels and Adam and Eve and creation and heaven and God and things, NO creepy stuff. The weird whispering/sinister/alien dudes (who APPARANTLY were actually “angels”) would have come all dressed in white, directly to Nicolas Cage and sat down with him and his son to talk about what was going to happen, how they were going to take him away, and they would have not done it in a creepy way at all. AND there would be no weird alien spaceships… and… yeah, I give up, there is just too much garbage to fix up in this movie. It’s not worth the time.

Yeah, not going to lie, the ending sequence was the best part. I imagine the Earth being baptized by fire and receiving its paradisiacal glory just like that, very good special effects.

Final movie synopsis: Numbers correspond with locations and dates of disasters/accidents. Pointless Plot. Pointless running around. Pointless mystery. Pointless character buildup. Weird/creepy/demon/angel/alien/kidnapper dudes come and kidnap kids to take them to distant planets to “start over.” Everyone else dies. End of story.

Just a heads up for you reader, if you’re thinking about watching “Knowing” I think before hand you should come off knowing that I want 1 hour and 55 minutes of my life back.